KASHISH – The Missed Call

I saw her standing at the bus stop in a baby pink T-Shirt and denim blue jeans. I stopped by the bus stop as I didn’t want to miss any opportunity of talking to her. I was framing sentences in my mind, because a great Swedish orator once said ‘A well framed sentence is half the proposal won’. I knew this was very important for me and didn’t want anything to go wrong. I quickly parked my bike near a departmental store and walked towards the bus stop. When I was a few feet away from her, I suddenly heard a voice calling out to me. I turned back to see Kajal waving her hand, like Amisha in Kaho na Pyaar Hai when they were lost in the island. Even before I could think of how to respond to the fate of mine, Kajal came running to me and pinched my shoulder for not responding to her PUKAAR.

“Don’t you have the least courtesy to wave back to someone who is dying to get your attention? By the way what are doing here in bus stop? Where is your stupid tractor?” That was the limit; I never tolerated anyone insulting my Munna (my bike).
“Sorry yaar. I couldn’t recognize you. And this is the 1000th time im begging you to stop insulting my Munna. Poor one fractured its back leg.”
“What?? Back leg got fractured?? You mean the back tyre got punctured? Oh god. Joy you are impossible. Ok listen I want you to drop me at my home. It’s been days we spoke to each other”

Ok people before any of you jump to conclusions let me introduce Kajal. For the very first time I met Kajal in the office cafeteria. She joined the company on her bday. It being her first job, she was very quiet and didn’t budge from the training room for 3 days. I noticed this and went into the training room to ask her to join us for coffee. She hesitantly nodded with a smile. I said “Don’t worry your manager wouldn’t mind you taking breaks once in a while. And I assure you will have fun with our group”. From then she became an active part of our group and my good friend. So that’s the background and we are just friends. Now don’t assume the “NO WE ARE JUST FRIENDS” dialogue, as that which a couple say when caught red handed by their friends or parents. Let’s get back to the bus stop.

“Yeah Kaju. Even I feel it’s been long we met. But not now yaar. I have to take Munna to the nearest clinic and get him some first aid”
“You and your stupid bike………..” Kajal stopped speaking. I turned back to see if she disappeared. Actually, she was busy hunting for someone in the bus stop. Suddenly she pinched me again and yelled in my ears “Hey that’s my childhood friend, ……….” I didn’t listen to the latter half of the statement as I was busy looking in the direction of her finger. And all my veins and blood vessels screamed in harmony, it was she. Kajal was pointing to my ‘Pink Angel’. Somebody pinch me. No it can’t be.
“Ok bye I’ve to meet her…..” I exactly don’t remember what she said. I assume she said something like that and sprinted towards my angel.

I have this strange brain which plays the harp every time I see …… Hey wait what’s her name by the way. Oh God I can’t miss her name. How did I?? How could I?? I slapped my ears for not registering the name in my brain. Oh no I missed it. I missed the name...

WOMAN – The Most Complicated Creation

I have seen many a gadgets and widgets that can do what people like me cannot even think of. Credit goes to those few who use their crazy, rather unique, brains to come up with something like that. These FEW, according to me, were the most complicated creations of GOD. But as I grew older and bolder, I realized that these FEW can never match those MANY who are termed as WOMEN. I know most of you who belong to the later community will close the window immediately.

One most important thing one should remember while dealing with women is, never ever talk to them about your old friends from school, college, work, etc. especially if they are girls. I’m yet to meet a girl who doesn't turn green after listening to you talking about your old friends. I’m not saying that men don’t, but men accept it and express it. But women want you to FEEL it. They say you should feel that I might feel jealous about it. At the same time if you say, “OK I’ll not talk to any other girl”, they say “No...Go ahead. I give you complete freedom to talk to whomever you want”. Believe me friends this freedom is worse than the festive offers from Saravana Stores. They at least say Conditions apply, but with women it is always CONDITIONS ONLY.

One of my friends once told me that he had a small fight with his girl friend. When asked he told me that the reason for the fight was very trivial, you can’t anyway expect a serious reason. My friend took a day off from his office to spend some quality time with his girl. They went around the city, did some shopping and finally reached their respective houses. Every night before sleeping they used to chat for some time. That night while chatting he said he was having terrible back pain and was not able to sleep comfortably. He also said that the reason could be the long drive that day and also long hours at work. Now how on earth can this guy think that this would become the reason for the fight? Guess what his girl friend said “Oh! So if you come out with me for one day you will get back pain and blame me for all this? I travel everyday for 60 kms and sit throughout the day in office. Even I work for an MNC like you, but I never blamed you for my physical pains”. Isn’t it complicated guys?

If I go on narrating incidents like this you might think i'm a Misogynist. My whole point is why can’t woman express it straight as most of the men do? Why do they make everything in life a puzzle? I asked few women about this behavior, I got almost the same reply from all of them. The reason they gave was, read it carefully, “GOD made us like this. We want you guys to understand and make us feel that we are the important, rather the most important one in your life. When we fight with you, we love you the most. When we shout at you, we want to listen to you the most. When we say GET LOST, We actually mean COME FAST. This is the way a woman’s brain is designed. Try getting accustomed to the most complicated creation of GOD, the WOMAN”.

After listening to this I came to know one thing that WOMEN are actually proud of being this way. They are proud about confusing everyone with their words and actions. I feel the only reason for such behavior is insecurity. This insecurity takes the form of anger, frustration, irritation, etc. and results in misunderstandings and finally fights.

Having said so much I must confess one thing that this nature of women adds all the spice to life. Just imagine if my friend never fights with her girl, never gets shouted at by her, I don’t think he would have ever felt her importance in his life. But if too much of this spice is added, it would spoil the dish and ruin the health of the relation. I am reminded of a dialogue from the movie Sleepless in Seattle “8 is too few, 12 is too many”.

Before I conclude I would like to say just one thing. Never try to understand or analyze the actions of a woman, they can never be understood even by the smartest of MEN. Take things as they come and trust me they never stop coming.

P.S. Prescribe this to all the Men who are trying to solve the mystery called WOMAN.

KASHISH - The Secret Unravelled

After the shocking tryst with one, i lost interest in not just the women wearing Blue chudidar but also the busy Chennai traffic. Though incident is 6 months old now, the face of the lady was fresh in my memory.

Finally God answered my prayers and my old boss decided to declare his retirement from Human Harassing, that's what he calls his Career as. We were invited for a dinner at his house, which left me with a Pongal offer of dropping my boss at his home directly. I never let my boss sit on my bike after that incident, i had all my 20 crossed expecting a similar disaster.
"Hey Joy, I have to tell you something what i always used to feel about you" said my Boss. I was expecting something big, can't describe much though, from my Boss.
"Yes Sir tell me"
"Joy i always admired you for your commitment and dedication to your work"
I was wondering whose retirement day it was.
"Though i never spoke to you all these days about your personal life. I think i can take the liberty to ask you, if you have a Girl Friend"
Oh dear, i wanted to turn back to see if my Boss was replaced by Sharukh from Mohabbatein. I watched that movie so many times that i saw Sharukh in every man who either played a violin or asked me about my Girl Friend.
"Joy, did i ask anything wrong?"
"No Sir. I was just concentrating on the traffic. Actually i don't have any Girl Friend"
"Hmmm. I expected this answer from you. Anyway, just take this left turn. And the last house is mine"
Finally we reached the castle of the Rumpelstiltskin. It was one old individual house, whose pillars were hugged by the creepers and the walls were smeared with green algae. I was received by my colleagues who already reached the place. I quickly finished the dinner and started back home without even waiting for the presentation ceremony, which i knew would last for at least an hour.
I thanked God for not planning anything worse for me that night. As i got onto to the main road, my eyes popped out at once seeing something that i didn't dare to even think.(To be contd...)

KASHISH - Tryst with the ONE - Day 1 part 2

I saw a girl in Blue chudidar sitting on her pink TVS scooty pep struggling to restart her cute bike. For me everything that belongs to her started looking cute now. Soon she realised that she was being honked at by the busy Chennai traffic. Thanks to TVS motors that their bikes stop working at the right time.
I stopped aside with a noble intention to help her cute thing come back to life. "May I help you", probably i sounded like the rusty sign board in the railway stations, that she gave an annoying look. "No Thanks" she replied. She was grumbling at the 'kutti', small in the native language, bike. Though i couldn't translate each and every pearl that rolled out of the oyster. I could at least make out that she was in a hurry to reach somewhere.
"Hello Madam, in case being a stranger disqualifies me from helping you. I am Joy, working in M&M ad agency. Can i now?"
"No no. I didn't mean that way. Actually I'm rushing to Malabar Hospital. My son is admitted in the hospital"
I felt for a minute i was in the last level of Hallucination. Hearing what can never be processed by my mind. The pearls turned into drops of rasam, bitter as wormwood, that my cook Maya made last night. (To be contd...)

KASHISH - Tryst with the ONE - Day 1

It was a dull morning as it is most of the times in Chennai, but there was something different in the air around me. I was feeling like I'm gonna meet some one special and the special person is gonna turn ma life upside down. I wasn't sure who??when??where??how?? n most importantly WHY??

I got up to get ready for yet another boring day at work. Only thing motivating me was the fact that it was a Friday. The much awaited weekend was there. Hands of the clock changed their positions and there i was just waiting to leave. I was waiting to meet that SPL one.

I reached the Office and was received by my Boss, i would prefer to see myself in the mirror though. He assigned me some stupid work, that's what i do most of the time, as soon as i reached my work station. I didn't realise how time passed while i dug my head in the thin & slim HP Thin Client.

I took more than usual time to have my lunch, expecting that someone SPL to occupy the seat next to me. To my utter dismay and shock, it was my boss who said in his not-so-friendlyvoice "Can i sit here?". I cursed my stars for not being in same line, when they are most expected to. I quickly swallowed the so called MINI meals that the Chettinadu restaurant served in my office cafeteria.

I kept myself busy till the evening and was pulled out of the dragon head by my boss asking me if I was planning to leave as he wanted to be dropped at the nearest bus stop. I couldn't refuse as it was the month of April, the Appraisal time. I took out my Apache RTR 180, with elevated back seat, of the parking lot and reached the waiting area in my office. I found that my boss was on the phone and did not even mind to take my permission to use my shoulder as support o get on the bike. I zoomed to the nearest bus stop with single thought in my mind, to get rid of this monster.

After my boss got into his bus to Mylapore, i got onto my bike to go back home. I totally forgot about the SPL person that i had to meet that day. I stopped near the traffic signal, waiting for the RED to turn GREEN. I never knew even my life would turn GREEN along with the traffic signal. I was face to face with the SPL person i was dying to meet, rather destined to meet. (To be contd..)